I lost her this morning.
It's been about 15 hours and I'm not sure I can cry anymore. My head and jaw hurt and my vision is still blurred but I'll try to get this out.
Tora was diagnosed as a diabetic earlier this month when I had to take her in for an abscessed tooth. I had been giving her daily injections of insulin and put her on a restricted diet. (This unfortunately extended to Loki as well, who hates fish.) When I took her in for a blood glucose curve this Monday, the vet said she was getting better. This morning, she started having seizures so I rushed her to the vet. After talking with the vet, I chose to let her go. Hardest choice I ever had to make. So I held her as the vet injected her. I told her I was sorry and that I loved her. I'm not sure she heard me. It was a while before I could let her go.
She was 14 years and 8 months old And she had been with me since she was 8 weeks. Friends came and went, family would talk to me only certain times and we moved twice together. We had many adventures together and she was the one constant in my life. And now she's gone. There's no more snoring coming from her tent, no more yowls for the water to be turned on in the sink, no more golden eyes to wring treats or gushy food from me, no more ball of fur sprawled on the bathroom rug when I'm trying to get out of the shower.
Loki is fine. I'm not sure he realized that his big sister isn't coming back.
So now that I'm crying again, I'm going to go.